I feel ugly. I feel rejected. I feel fat. I feel betrayal. I feel sick. I feel stupid.

I'm feeling what I shouldn't be feeling because this is unhealthy. My friends say its in my head and I should move on. I try yet I fail. I feel alone like nobody would be able to
understand what I'm going through. Somebody even told me to get a shrink. Should I? Why is
that I'm going insane. Why do I feel so uncntent in my life? I want to be rich, beautiful
and be loved, but I don't feel those things. Perhaps I'm ridiculous in the first place to
want all those things, but even if I told that to myself, I still feel it. I still feel
lonely because I don't get what I want. Are these all in my head? I keep asking myself that.

At school, I always see others which are materialization of what I want to become. I want to be intelligent, pretty, and loved by others. I keep asking myself..do I have fewer friends than them because I wasn't friendly enough and so I can't join their wagon? am I not pretty enough for myself only and not to others? I hear people complementing me yet sometimes I
just shrug it off because they know me. Am I that a doubtful person?

Honestly, it was only during college when I felt this alone. I don't know why. Maybe I
wasn't able to mesh with other people enough to have new friends. Is this just simply a
fact of life or am I really bound to be alone in college? God..I really feel so alone right now. I'm so depressed.

Are all of this pressure my imagination? I hope so. I feel so depressed. I don't know if I'm just pushing myself too hard. I just want to have a fairy tale life. This is insane..I don't know what's happening to me.