On the act of crying

Crying is a medium to release one's emotions whether it is from sadness or happiness.

It's been years since I last cried. I always have this uncanny power to separate my emotions from my physical body therefore controlling my outward facade. I was able to hide my emotions. But for some reason, I'm always crying nowadays. The boundary of my conscience and my body is always permeated by this one person. He was able to combine my other self with my material self.

It was when he said that he would forget me if he couldn't take the hurt anymore. It was when he said goodbye to me because he couldn't take the pain anymore. It was also the time when he said he loved me and I was his whole world. It was when he was hurt because he could not make me smile.

I told this to a friend of mine and he agreed. "Ganyan naman talaga." Now I understand what other people tell me about having this rollercoaster of emotions. I would be smiling one second and cry my heart out the following second, and I wouldn't be able to hide it. He would know, yet he would not take advantage of it.

The first time I cried for him was when we talked on the phone and he was playing his favorite senti songs. It was his way of saying goodbye to me because he was going abroad to study. He wasn't the only guy on the phone, yet I only cared what he said and not the other guy. That was really my first cry from years.

This action of me crying would be too melodramatic for other people. But in my case, I think otherwise. It 's not shallow anymore...because I'm crying because of him. I miss you..