To look and see?

There are times when you come to realize that no one could ever understand what goes inside mind of the people around you. Psychology and sociology may perhaps help you define the source of their ways of thinking and behavior,but when it comes to making friends, understanding the situation of other people, and other such things. These sciences would not help you that much. Its because the explanations is too general and has to encompass a person's background,lifestyle, friends, family, school, personality, etc. Without considering all these things, being a psychologist and sociologist would be worthless because they themselves experience insecurities,get influenced by their peers, and have troubles with their not-so-good family. My point is that all of us humans stand on the same ground.

I always feel helpless whenever I can't understand a loved one or vice versa. For me, it's the root of all arguments. Today, my theology prof said that love was not blind. It is when you see something, a potential, in the soul of your loved one. Now, is this a form of special understanding? Or as others would say, stupidity? If I understood more,would everything become simple, black and white and so forth? Would I be able to satisfy everyone even myself?

It's a mystery...

Nothing

In the past, I had always thought that depending so much on someone else was stupid. One can
live life alone. If you make yourself weak by revealing that you need that person to
function fully, then you are a loser. Dreams are supposed to be achieved by oneself. You
don't need moral support or encouragement. All you need are money, perserverance, intellect,
and determination.

But now I feel different because I don't think I could live without him. Even a day of not
communicating with him is driving me nuts. I can't do anything at all except pour all my
frustrations here in this blog. I know I have a lot of things to do. All my profs are
absolutely demanding and my grades really need my attention. But what am I doing now? I'm
typing for my new entry while I'm waiting for our quality time together after his work is
over. To a goal-oriented person, this would be clearly a waste of time. Even if somebody
scolds me or whatever, I don't think I could do what I should do. If I was to read, I would
just be looking at the paper itself and not on the words. I'm clearly a zombie now. I've
been bitten by sadness and the only person who could turn me human again is him.

I'm really missing him.

panalangin ko rin

Panalangin ko sa habang buhay
Makapiling ka makasama ka
Yan ang panalangin ko
At hindi papayag
Ang pusong ito
Mawala ka sa 'king piling
Mahal ko iyong dinggin

At wala nang iba pang mas mahalaga
Sa tamis na tulad ng pag-ibig nating dalawa
Sana naman makikinig ka
Kapag aking sasabihing minamahal kita
Panalangin..

-APO HIKING SOCIETY

Sweetest guy I had ever met.YOU.

What's the sweetest thing that a guy could do for you? Naturally, girls would definitely say having a guy being a gentleman, giving flowers, showering of gifts, always having time for them and so on. Yes, all of these may have all those "kilig factors". But the length of time he would do this or the reason for doing this is somewhat a puzzle. Is he doing this because of the mere fact that you're his girlfriend or crush at the moment? Or is he doing this because he wants you to feel special and become happy? In our times, the initial statement would be the probable explanation for such actions, and those guys who'd do those sweet things for the girl ONLY is indeed very hard to find.

All my life, I had this secret dream of finding the perfect guy for me. Growing up, I saw those guys including my own brother only trapping girls into their clutches and then fading away when the girls get attached. It was as if nothing special had happened. It was like their paths didn't cross. PERIOD. I had some light experiences from those kind of guys, but I pity those other girls having deep relationships with those kind of guys. Their egos get hurt, and sometimes even their lives get affected. As I saw these girls having their hearts crushed by and by, I became pessimistic about love. There is no way that I could find a sweet guy wanting to take care of me and make me happy.

Now, however, I'm glad to say..I was very very wrong (hehehee) because I did find the perfect guy for me whose concern is me. Actually, he found me and even he's so far away in hamburger-a-gogo land, I can't say that has any "pagkukulang" as a boyfriend. In fact, I'm always overwhelmed by his sweetness. I mean, where could you find a guy who would say 'i love you' every conversation, stay up all night until the morning just to talk to you, worry for your health and well-being, and say 'you're beautiful' everyday to you?

Other people would say he's cheezy, but if being cheezy would make me feel loved then so be it.